JOE "DOOR STOP" BIDEN AND ME
Spending the next three weeks in Delaware. I initiated a search for Joe Biden, starting with the basements in my new neighborhood.
As an homage to bloated filmmaker, Michael "Two Cheeseburgers" Moore, I have decided to search for Vaudeville Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic Nominee for President.
After all, I am in Delaware, land of the finished basement.
The search began in our rental, a cozy three bedroom just West of Fenwick Island in a town called Selbyville.
Selbyville is as rustic as its name. A former farming enclave, now subdivided into beach communities. Some of them have lagoons for boat launches out into the bay. Some have basements.
I inflicted myself on my neighbors, none of whom I knew. Mister Moose and Zeppo came with me. If you're going to accost strangers, take dogs. They're great for breaking the ice; picking up chicks; or instilling enough fear to get someone to stand still. Did not find Joe "Hands" Biden the first morning, but did have one interesting conversation with someone also walking their dog, a HUGE chocolate Lab named Barney.
Attractive Older Woman: "Yes, my house has a basement. That's an odd question."
Yours Truly: "I am looking for someone odd.”
Attractive Older Woman: "Oh? And they're in a basement somewhere? [Laughs Merrily]. Who and why would that be?"
Yours Truly: "Joe Biden, and he seems to like it there."
Attractive Older Woman: "Isn't he quarantined? That must be the reason .You're not a Trump supporter, are you?"
[REALLY AWKWARD PAUSE]
Yours Truly: "Let's go, Moose!"
I let Moose off the leash and he sprinted back towards our rental.
Thank God.
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