THE HALL MONITOR ON THE UNTER DEN LINDEN
The kid you used to wait around for after school to beat senseless.
My building has a hall monitor.
Three times now I’ve run into this person at the elevator, and he TELLS me, “You have to wear a mask.”
I politely refuse and insist on waiting for the next elevator. This ain’t a problem because NYC has chased about half of the residents elsewhere and getting a car by yourself is not hard.
One time he insisted, “I’ll hold the elevator for you.”
“I’ll have trouble locating my USELESS face mask, but if you want to wait while I search every pocket in my winter coat, hoodie, and pants . . . oh and my gym bag, I’ll be happy to put it on.”
He grumbles but gets on.
I’m waiting to hear from management. So far I have not.
What is it with the people of New York? A sanctimonious putz like this wouldn’t have lasted five minutes in Gotham, unless he worked in financial services. Now, they’re everywhere. If you don’t put the facial bumper sticker on, they stare at you like you’re John Wayne Gacy.
Not one of the people who try to mask shame me has EVER worn a proper, medically-compliant one; sealed it at the perimeter; and not touched it repeatedly without replacing it.
Not one.
And I’m the bad guy?
These are the people who insist on masks on two-year-olds. If I was a rat, like they are, I’d have turned them all in to CPS.
I am hopeful that he confronts me AFTER the stupidity has ended. We’ll have a nice talk before I punch him in the face.
Mask-less, don’t you know.
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